"Beauty loses it's meaning when you're surrounded by too much of it"

I have been putting off writing this review for a while now,  not because I don't know or have anything to write, but because I feel like I can write SO much. 

You know those books you read, that just sink their literary words into you and you're unable to put it down? Yeah, this is one of them.. I knew from the synopsis that this was going to be something I was very interested in, but I hadn't heard anything about this book, I honestly just stumbled upon it. This book was EVERYTHING I hope for in a thriller.  I've yet to come across another book with such an original storyline, character depth, and attention to detail. 

If you know me by now I don't do many "easy" reads ( not meaning lengthy books), but hard shit. Dark yet beautiful stories, terror and twists. Stressful books as my Mom would say.  So take this as your notice that this is yet again another Fucked Up Read (trademark pending).  

Let's start off with the book triggers and some content so the sensitive people can move along to the end: Dark, graphic, twisted, abduction, sexual themes and mature content, violence, suicide, death, murder, drugs, and other taboo topics I wasn't even prepared for. There is a very disturbing instance at the end where a child is involved which can be a major trigger for many people. 

The author did quite a good job at developing her characters throughout the story, so well in fact that I felt genuine concern for a lot of the butterflies in the story. I enjoyed that we did get a little back story on a few of them throughout the book. I did have a love/hate relationship with Maya (MC), she frustrated me with her stubbornness but I also connected with her as well. She did bore me and I felt at times that the author let her drag on with certain things, but she was the perfect macabre storyteller to the FBI about what exactly took place in The Garden. 

“and I thought how fucking unfair it was that he made us butterflies, of all things. Real butterflies could fly away, out of reach. The Gardener’s Butterflies could only ever fall, and that but rarely.” 

 The Gardener and his sons were just....agh I don't even know how to put it in words to describe how someone can THINK of characters like this, but I loved it. It really made the story and they fueled my anger towards them the entire book. 

“It was a strange kind of pain, choosing to lie there under the needles and let him write his ownership into my skin.” 

Here I am trying to stop myself from telling you EVERYTHING in this story. *deep breath*

The Garden was perfectly described and I felt like I knew the halls and rooms that these girls lived in. It was incredible, really. 

The momentum of the story did slow during the middle and end of the book, which made me want to read faster to know what the hell was happening. The ending was somewhat expected but still had my heart racing. 

Overall I gave it 5 stars, this book definitely made it on my top favorite thriller shelf! This really needs to be made into a movie or HBO/Netflix series it is THAT good. Again, these topics in the book are NOT easy to read so be warned. 

“Some people stay broken. Some pick up the pieces and put them back together with all the sharp edges showing.” 

There is a second book that "follows" this one but I didn't like it. I was hoping that even though the characters had been through so much shit that she would let them be at the trial for The Gardener. (Sorry I know this is now going into another book but hey, you don't have to be here).  I feel like I really needed to know what happened to him and what he faced after putting the girls through all that shit. I wanted Maya to rip him a new one, but wishful thinking I guess.  The follow up is still good but just not what I was looking for in regards to closure from the Garden. 

*Again, many thanks to NetGalley for sending me this for free in return of an honest review!*